Monday, January 30, 2006

Confessions of a Catnip Binge

I don't know about you guys, but Brach and I get the munchies when we are stoned on "the nip." This fact is embarrassingly obvious after what happened last night.

Mom decided to bring out the dry catnip flakes (my favorite is fresh, but I don't turn down catnip in any form). Brach was in the bedroom, but heard mom open the plastic container and came running. I didn't hear the container open, but when Brach headed to the kitchen, I assumed something amazing was about to happen and I wasn't going to let it go down in my absence!

She sprinkled the flakes on the carpet--that's all I know for a fact. Everything gets a little fuzzy after that, but I'll try to relay it as clearly as I can remember.

Brach and I spent considerable time grazing on the flakes. It's always peaceful between us until the full-buzz comes over us--then things become...let's say "strained." It usually starts with him biting the end of my tail and ends with a crazy chase and me swatting and hissing while lying on my back.

That's not what happened last night, though. Last night was especially nutty.

Shortly after Brach and I started hit the nip, Brach suggested we head into the kitchen to find something to eat. Thankfully, Mom doesn't understand MEOW, otherwise she would have nixed our caper right from the start. While Brach headed to the kibble, I set my sights on higher ground--I jumped onto the counter and began sniffing around.

That's when I saw them.

It was a whole container of cat treats, sitting on the counter--completely unguarded! With a quick glance at my brother, and a glimpse over my shoulder to check for Mom, I flicked the tin of treats on the floor. Yes, it made a loud sound when it hit the tile, but the reward far outweighed the risk.

The container opened as it hit the floor and glorious cat treats spilled everywhere!

The sound jarred Brach from his feast and in a matter of seconds, he had his nose shoved into the treats, chomping away. Not to be out-eaten, I quickly jumped down and joined him.

Long story short (unless it's too late), we ate the entire tin of treats.

As I licked my lips with pure satisfaction, Mom appeared in the kitchen. "What did you two do?!" she exclaimed.

Suddenly, her face broke into a smile and she began to laugh!

"Do you guys realize what you just did?" she said, struggling to stifle her laughter. "You just binged on cat breath mints!"

I looked at her...looked at the tin (I have to admit, I can write in English, but can't read it all-too-well)...then looked back at her again.

"What you did is the equivalent of a human smoking a bunch of weed and then eating an entire container of Tic-Tacs!"

Laugh all you want, lady. All I know is that I helped eat an entire tin of treats in one sitting! Suck on that!


Bonnie Underfoot said...

You should pose for the next Pit 'r Pat picture! So, is Mom trying to hint about your breath?

Derby said...

LOL. that is one way to cover up 'nip breathe.

Max said...




Kukka-Maria said...

My mom bought those in the checkout at the grocery store (one of those "spontaneous purchases").

She claims our breath stinks...I think it's just hers bouncing off our snouts and slapping her in the face.

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

Well, now you can earn some extra $$ in a kissing booth with your extra sweet breath! Use your extra income to purchase quality 'nip.


Sanjee said...

Oh gosh it sounds like yall had lotsa fun! Goody for you!