Hello, my name is George and I have a problem with catnip. It all started a few years ago and up until then I could take it or leave it, much like my brother and sister do with occasional enjoyment of mildly potent ‘nip in cat toys. But now my problem has progressed to the point where I can’t control it any more.
I blame the whole thing on my human brother J who gave me some really good ‘nip a while back. I think it was called Cosmic Catnip and it was very potent stuff when used full strength. After my first time, I watched as he put it away, waaaay up on the highest shelf of the cabinet. Then every time he came over after that, he’d give me some more, usually sprinkling it on our cat perch.
Very quickly I was helpless against it. As soon as I saw J come in the front door, I’d head for the cabinet, start screaming for my ‘nip, carrying on like a maniac until he gave me some. I’m ashamed to admit, at my most desperate if J wasn’t around, I’ve even climbed into the cabinet and up the shelves to try and get at it myself. I’m told when I’m on a ‘nip high my family is embarrassed for me because of how I act. I roll on the floor, kick my feet in the air, rub my face on the carpet, run around like a madcat and generally behave like a fool. After a few minutes I crawl to the nearest pillow where I pass out. Of course, I don’t remember any of this when I regain consciousness. I can’t understand why my brother and sister aren’t affected by this like I am, except that we’re adopted siblings not littermates, so maybe it's a genetic weakness.
But now, with my family’s encouragement and the help of Catnip Anonymous, I’m ready to regain my feline dignity and break catnip’s hold over me. I hope I can conquer my addiction this way without having to resort to professional counseling.